Tragedy and Reflection

While my semester has officially ended here, and happy times have certainly been occurring, the sadness that I've felt with yesterday's elementary school shooting in Connecticut is far stronger than the the happenings here the last few days. I think I've written before on it, but not until I've been here for a prolonged period of time have I realized the sense of nationalism that being an American brings. It's a community-type feeling and while I've never been incredibly patriotic while in the States, something about an upbringing and life spent as an American brings out such a sense of nationalism when away. I usually try to stay quiet about it, as it's not the most popular voice to be raising in the international community, but it's forever in me, and I think as Americans, it's instilled in all of us.

Deaths like what occurred yesterday in a school happen often around the world and currently at enormously high rates in the Middle East. All instances are immense tragedies, but I think when it occurs close to home in our own communities and through our own eyes it hurts the most. The deaths are no more tragic or more important when they occur in the western world versus developing countries, but perhaps, and unfortunately, they much more shocking. This tragedy occurred in an elementary school in a small town in New England. Much like my small town and elementary school in New England. Much of the memories of my own elementary school and years spent there have been coming to me since I heard of the shooting. It's when you can imagine and visualize it all that it hurts the most. Last night, to finish the semester, my kitchenmates and a bunch of our friends went out for a celebratory dinner and a (very) late night afterwards. It was incredibly fun and I'm so glad we went out, but I learned of the shooting before leaving, and knew I would be the sole American at the table and with the group for the evening. The tragedy was periodically in the back of my mind, and when we discussed it at one point, I briefly explained the sense of nationalism that's arisen for me, how it feels like each time a national tragedy occurs, we all mourn, we all refleft, we're all thankful and in disbelief, clutching to whatever we can, telling others that we love them. It's a sense that arises with disbelief and a yearning for strength.

I have a busy-ish day ahead, including saying goodbye to several friends who are leaving this weekend or in the next few days. I'll be headed to London to visit a friend from Saint Michael's tomorrow and will return to St Andrews on Wednesday for a couple more days before flying back west.