The Creative Process and The Mistake

This evening I responded to a call for creative submissions to a writing magazine at the school I work at. I opened up my creative writing archives and read through several pieces. After more than a year of sporadically writing creatively without a real plan or schedule, and realistically, a couple hours a month at the most -- I was saddened. Reading the essays and poems and short stories that were produced in such a short period of time a few years ago, I looked through the documents and when all the senses came back through reading each piece -- the memory of writing it, the memory (for some of the pieces) of living it, of thinking and feeling and remembering, I was overwhelmed and said aloud, "Oh my god, I used to be a good writer." That was the mistake.

It was the instant reaction, the words spoken to an empty apartment that I hadn't even thought before speaking but briefly believed. In that instant, I viewed creativity that once was as creativity that could no longer be. When I began working full time and no longer needed to write for assignments nor was surrounded by a community of friends and mentors that urged me to write, I didn't as often.

What I realized tonight was that I feel more alive when I remember through words. I feel more open to life when I absorb the surroundings and memories and thoughts of our world and believe in something outside of the everyday. And it does me good. I hope it does others good too. If not now, someday. The creativity might be farther away and harder to reach, but it still lives. For each of us. And, the archive will always be there. I found a piece I was proud of, and sent it along, remembering to write another like it.

Images of December

Man, December was a busy month. I don't remember taking too many pictures during the month, but looking back through them, I seem to have gathered a good chunk that fall into three categories: family, work-related, and outdoor scenery/miscellaneous.

I presented at a conference for work in early December in Boston. My hotel room was on the 20th floor and I loved how clear the sky was that night and the next morning. Waking up early and seeing this view of the Prudential Center and the Back Bay was beautiful.

Meredith, NH, how I love clear sky.

Morning on Rattlesnake Mountain in Holderness, NH.Why does nature have a way with us in which our minds are calmed and cleared as we absorb it?

Lake Waukewan in Meredith, NH.

Same Lake, Same Place. A few minutes later. 

My brother and I discovered our Mom's Christmas cookies in the freezer and couldn't handle our excitement.

My office was being painted and I worked in this pretty room for a week. It was inspiring.

1960s Santa dressed up my apartment like no other Christmas decor could.

Pretty church on Christmas Eve.

New favorite picture of my Dad and I after receiving some sweet scarves from a family friend.

Clear skies making another appearance.

2015 Books

Happy 2016! I don't do New Year's Resolutions every year, but this year, writing more is the goal. Both blogging, and elsewhere. It brings me such joy, but is far too easy to say no to when cleaning, reading, mindless activities or procrastination take hold instead. 

Since sometime in 2009, I've written down every book I've read. It feels like an accomplishment to see the lists, but has also helped when I inevitably forget the titles of recent books I've read. I think I read 31 (many were audiobooks) last year and the ones below are ones I loved.

A Call to Action: Women, Religion, Violence and Power: Powerful and informative. Carter relies on his world travels as he questions throughout why the majority of religions (including his own) discriminate against women and girls. A thoughtful book.

A Mad Desire to Dance: Elie Wiesel writes hauntingly about his own experiences in the Holocaust in Night, but A Mad Desire to Dance reminds the reader that Wiesel is truly a novelist as he writes of the lifelong darkness following a Holocaust survivor in twentieth century New York. 

A Night to Remember: A quick non-fiction read of the Titanic sinking. Excellently written/reported.

A Path Appears: Transforming Lives, Creating Community: Nicholas Kristof is my favorite journalist, but this sequel to Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide is less captivating, although very helpful in identifying key NGO's across the world that do the most good, and for identifying individuals that have begun initiatives and organizations abroad and domestically to save lives and provide better futures for children. 

All the Light We Cannot See: Incredible. 

Americanah: I would use Incredible again if this wasn't alphabetical. Fantastic. An excellent novel bringing light to race, class, xenophobia, and living as a young person in America today. 

China Dolls: Similar to Americanah in many ways, A quick-moving novel focusing on the challenges faced by early/mid-twentieth century Japanese and Chinese immigrants.

Girl Singer: Lovely! Two thoughtful stories in one. A young black woman travels Jim Crow-America with Count Basie's band before moving to Greenwich Village and confronting her own prejudices in post-World War II America. 

Into the Wild: I don't think Krakauer has ever written something non-captivating, excellently reported and tragic? A quick and powerful read.

Letter from Birmingham Jail: Timeless and so fitting to our society today. Not even quite a book, but a long letter. I'd read it once or twice a year and a couple months ago listened to the 45-minute audio version. Line that always sticks with me: "I cannot sit idly by in Atlanta and not be concerned about what happens in Birmingham. Injustice everywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

Letter to My Daughter: A mixture of poetry and essays by Angelou, beautifully written advice.

The Mystery of the Tolling Bell: Nancy Drew. No explanation necessary. Reading one of these yellow hardbacks once a year is never regretted. 

Not that Kind of Girl: Had its good and empowering parts on growing older and finding oneself.

Quiet: Self-identifying between extrovert and introvert, I could relate to much of Quiet and how our society not only doesn't listen to, but doesn't value or celebrate introverts like other parts of the world.

Sarah's Key: Powerful, a lovely novel set in World War II France and 2002 France. 

Ten Days in a Mad House: Nelly Bly is already inspiring as a nineteenth century female journalist, but her 1887 investigation into America's growing reliance on asylums while living in one posing as a patient for ten days is haunting.

The Assassination of Margaret Thatcher: I loved Hilary Mantel's Wolf Hall and Bring up the Bodies and in awaiting her third installment, I tried her short stories. They were just as well written and thought-provoking.

The Great Gatsby: I knew the story vaguely, but it was so worth a read. The last several pages are filled with so many paragraphs of beautiful ending language that tied up the book perfectly. One favorite line: "...the trees that had made way for Gatsby's house, had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder." 

The Winter Rose: I read the kindle version so didn't notice the cover that looks like a book I might not be attracted to, but this book was excellent! The second in a trilogy focusing on the social aspects of London in the late nineteenth/early twentieth century between women, medical care and the class system, a captivating and lengthy book. Also, currently being reminded to not judge a book by it's cover. :)

The Year of Magical Thinking: I listened to this book and was marveled at how Didion wove her love and care for her husband and daughter into how she processed a year of immense tragedy.

We are All the Same: Wow. Deeply personalized the African AIDS epidemic into the story of one boy, his family, South African society, his short life and the story he shared while dying, of AIDS being overlooked and what we all have in common across the world.

Wild: I haven't seen the movie and didn't know the story too well, but a powerful and excellently written book on forgiveness, challenging oneself and beginning again.

Yes Please: would highly recommend the audiobook! Funny and clever. Reminded me of the fields of entertainment (comedy, late night shows) where women are still gaining acceptance.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!: Somehow I missed Harry Potter in my childhood and have been reading a book or two the last few years. Like the previous five HP books, highly recommended!